


Endless War

by McDumbles



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-13 00:30:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18021410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McDumbles/pseuds/McDumbles
Summary: When terror strikes during Home Secretary Julia Montague's visit to St. James College in London, Specialist Protection Officer David Budd will stop at nothing to keep her safe. David/Julia.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is also available on FF.net. I hope you like it! If you do, please leave a review. I will be posting a second chapter soon.

**Palace of Westminster - London**

Home Secretary Julia Montague's high heels clicked rhythmically on the stone floor as she exited Parliament. She was mentally preparing herself for the speech she would be giving at St. Mathews College in a few hours time. It wasn't so much the speech itself that was daunting her, but rather the idea of rendering herself vulnerable by making her first public appearance since the attempt on her life at Thornton Circus. As per usual lately, she felt instantly calmer as her eyes fell on PPO David Budd, who was waiting by the car.

"Ma'am, traffic's snarled up this side of the river so we'll be going via the bridges." David informed her, going straight to business just as they always did whenever they were in the company of others.

"Your call." She replied. Gone were the days when she might have quarrelled with him over motorcade routes.

He opened the back passenger's side door of the Jaguar for her, waiting until she was settled before closing the door and getting into the front seat.

Speaking at St. Mathews was the last thing Julia wanted to do. She wasn't a fool, she knew she was still in danger, but she would never be able to convince the public that the RIPA 18 Bill was in their best interests if she remained in hiding for the duration of her career. She was still a target, but the collected safety of the British citizenry was far more important than the safety of just her alone, hence why it was crucial that RIPA '18 became law.

Due to the recent attempt on the Home Secretary's life, her motorcade had an even greater police presence than usual. It should have been comforting, having the specialized officers accompanying her along with the usual presence of her Personal Protection Officers, but Julia could not push aside the deep sense of dread that had been stirring in the pit of her stomach ever since their departure from the Palace of Westminster. Having David close-by was familiar and soothing, but right now she yearned for him to join her in the back seat, if only for this one trip.

As they drove across London, Julia attempted to give her speech a final read-through, but it was difficult to focus on the pages in front of her. She wished she could change her mind about St. Mathews. She wished David had the authority to shut down the appearance for security reasons. Julia tried to catch David's eye in the rear-view mirror but his attention was dutifully focused on their surroundings.

Julia sighed, looking out the window for a few moments as she tried to quell her growing anxiety. Back at Parliament a few days prior Julia had made a joke of it, saying the reasoning behind David's lack of objection to the speech was to hide from the world the fact that he was becoming too protective of her. But this was no joke, and she wished with every fibre of her being that David had simply forbade her from making any public appearances until the question of whether or not her would-be assassin was working alone, was answered and buried.

***

 

**St. Mathew's College**

They had reached the final minutes before she was to begin her speech, and Julia was being escorted to the backstage area of the auditorium. She was aware of David's presence behind her, but had to force herself not to turn her head to look at him because – as always when they were in the company of others – they were the picture of professionalism.

_'I want you right beside me... not because it's your job... but because it's our choice.'_

The words she had spoken to him less than ten minutes earlier echoed in her mind. He hadn't said anything in response, but she had seen it in his eyes... it was something he wanted too. Knowing this made her want to skip this function even more. She wanted more than anything to return to their joint hotel rooms at The Blackwood and lie in David's arms for the remainder of the day. These days, it was the only place in the world where she truly and undoubtedly felt safe.

They had reached a door in the hallway which was opened to reveal the wings leading onto the stage. Julia felt her heartbeat increase. She had to force herself to take deep breaths. She had done hundreds, _thousands_ of public speeches before and this was nothing different. As she had been assured, the building had been swept multiple times for security threats. She was safe. This was just another auditorium, just another audience... This wasn't another Thornton Circus, no snipers would ever be able to get into this venue undetected.

"This is where I leave you ma'am." David's voice said from beside her.

"Um–" She looked over at him, distracted.

"Are you feeling alright ma'am?" He asked in concern, noticing the look in her eyes.

 _'No.'_ She wanted to say. _'I don't want to do this.'_

"Yes I'm fine." Is what she actually said, forcing a smile for the people around them.

"Are you sure?" David reached out to touch her arm and she closed her eyes briefly.

"Just a hint of stage fright I suppose, nothing more." She replied, keeping her tone soft. She wanted to take his hand in hers but she knew if she did, there was a very good chance she would have to take him out onto the stage with her.

"I would never have pegged you as one to get stage fright ma'am," David said, giving her one of those boyish grins of his that never failed to make her heart flutter.

Julia breathed a laugh. "I'll take that as a compliment." She replied. The ease in his tone did wonders to calm her. Of course she would be safe today; David was here, and he would never let anything happen to her.

David cleared his throat and his features hardened once more. He had momentarily forgotten that they weren't alone. Julia had a way of making him feel as if they were the only two in the room. If he were a less-skilled protection officer, this was a quality which could potentially become a liability. But no matter how much attention he reserved for Julia, he always remained focused and aware of his surroundings.

"Home Secretary, we're just about ready for you to go out." A stage-manager informed her.

She tried to reply but the words were caught in her throat. Instead she simply nodded, taking another deep breath.

"It's time for me to go into the auditorium." David said. "Good luck ma'am. You'll do great."

She gave him a small, appreciative smile in response, but watched him leave with a heavy feeling in her heart.

***

 

 David was stationed at an exit just off of stage-left. When Julia first stepped up to the podium, she acknowledged the audience with a polite smile as they greeted her arrival with a respectful round of applause. Her next action, which David did not fail to notice, was to locate her security team with a subtle sweep of her eyes around the outskirts of the audience. Her eyes fell on him last. Even from the small distance away that he was standing, beneath her diplomatic mask he could see the controlled look of relief in her features as their gazes briefly locked.

"Thank you. It's a great pleasure to be here with you all this morning..." Julia began.

On the stage, the Home Secretary felt content. The engagement felt familiar, normal. She no longer felt nervous, not even when she was rudely interrupted by two protesters – a minor setback which she dodged with practiced grace and professionalism.

The audience was attentive as she spoke. Everything was going well, and Julia was beginning to wonder what she had ever been worried about when she noticed the first signs of commotion.

She saw Kim – PC Knowles– running first, and if Julia was guessing correctly, the PPO's target was the stage itself. Not entirely knowing what to do for those first few seconds, the brunette carried on speaking as if she had noticed nothing. Her heart had begun to pound fiercely in her chest but she knew that if there really _was_ a threat, it would be dealt with by the officers, and she would carry on with her presentation after apologizing to the audience for the second disturbance of the afternoon.

This is not what happened however.

"Julia get down!"

She turned her head towards his voice. As soon as she realized that David too, was running towards her, he had grabbed a hold of her and she was practically thrown across the stage. As they fell, David kept his arms wrapped firmly around her until they landed hard on the floor. She'd barely had time to react by the time the pain ripped through her, simultaneous to the sound of a thunderous boom louder than anything she had ever experienced before. David's entire weight had landed on top of her and was crushing her to the ground, but she knew that whatever she was feeling now, it was nothing to what David must be feeling as he took the brunt of the explosion for her.

She clung to David fiercely with the arm that wasn't pinned beneath him. She couldn't see anything through the heavy smoke but she could hear screaming, could feel the wooden debris hitting her skin, and the heat... the heat. She could sense it before she saw the flickering glow out of the corner of her eye which could only confirm that a fire had broken out.

"David?" Her fearful, quivering, and barely audible voice asked.

"It's alright ma'am, you're alright." David assured her. "Stay down, you're going to be fine."

"David what–" She tried to shift underneath him but screamed in pain when she tried to put her own weight on her trapped arm. "David I think..." She pressed her lips together, closing her eyes as she tried to bite back the agony. "I think something's broken." She said in a tiny voice.

"Don't move." David urged her. "Stay down, you're safe now. You're safe." He repeated.

She tried to focus only on him. His skin was filthy from the blast and there was blood trickling down the side of his head. She imagined she looked much the same. A few tears rolled down Julia's face as the realization of what was happening hit her. A bomb. Someone had set off a bomb amidst all these people, and it was likely that she was the intended target. _She_ had put all of these innocent people in danger. She was injured, but it was obvious that whatever had happened to David was far worse. She felt an icy chill run through her as she realized that he was already fading in front of her.

"David..." Her voice shook as he looked down at her with unfocused eyes. She reached up to touch his face with her free hand. "Stay with me please... Don't give up. I need you." She whispered.

"Julia... I." He mumbled, before his eyes fell closed and the rest of his weight collapsed against her.

"No... no." She was frozen, trembling in shock and whimpering in pain. Even if she had wanted to she wouldn't have been able to move out from underneath him. All she could do was wait. Wait and pray that David was going to be okay.

It felt like hours, but had probably only been a few minutes by the time help arrived.

David was lifted off of her and she suddenly felt very alone, exposed, vulnerable.

"Ma'am are you alright? Are you hurt?" PC Knowles' voice asked from somewhere beside her. When Julia failed to respond, the officer continued: "Emergency services will be arriving soon. Don't worry ma'am, I won't be leaving your side."

"David..." Julia was finally able to whisper. "Is he–?" She couldn't bear to even think the word.

"Ambulances will be arriving soon, we will get you both to the hospital as soon as possible." Kim assured her.

Julia realized her ears were ringing, she could barely hear. Her entire body seemed to have gone numb, and even though she should have been able to move freely now, she couldn't force her limbs to fully lift her into a sitting position. She was aware that people were talking to her but she could no longer make out what they were saying.

"...Home Secretary..." A mystery voice asked.

"Julia?" Kim tried again.

The politician exhaled softly, her eyes fell closed and she collapsed back against the floor, unconscious.

***

 

 Julia supposed she must have blacked out, because when her lashes fluttered open again there were police everywhere. Against the floor, her head tossed gently to the side. Her eyelids were heavy as she searched for David. The back of her head was aching, she supposed she might have a concussion but that was hardly the most important thing on her mind right now. Groggily, she pushed herself up from the floor. She winced, but otherwise barely reacted to the shooting pains in her wrist and shoulder before quickly shifting her weight to her stronger side. He was still lying near to her, but to her dismay he remained unconscious.

She ignored the people who were fretting over her, feeling too exhausted to tell them they should be focusing on David, who was clearly in a far worse state than herself. She knew her words would do no good anyway. No longer caring about image or protocol, and not pausing to think about potential consequences, Julia dragged her damaged body closer to David's and burrowed herself against his chest. Not caring who was watching, she wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes, now openly sobbing.

It must have been clear that the position was extremely painful for her, because someone tried to lift her off of him. She cried out in pain as the person unintentionally pulled at her badly injured shoulder. "Don't you dare fucking touch me!" She shouted at the assailant, not turning to see who it was. Immediately she was released, and almost instantly she was clinging to David again. She probably shouldn't have cursed at the person who was just trying to help, but whoever they were, they had no business trying to separate her from David at a time like this. Besides, because of their idiocy, her shoulder was now causing her nearly unbearable agony.

Now that she was being left alone, Julia tried to focus on steadying her breathing. The shivering on the other hand, she didn't think she would ever be able to stop.

"Home Secretary, the medics are on their way. We'll have you both on the way to the hospital in no time." Kim's voice said.

From where her damp cheek was pressed against the tattered fabric of David's shirt, her eyes slowly blinked open to see the other woman sitting on the floor beside her. She hadn't noticed before that Kim's face was covered in blood. She hadn't noticed the awkward angle at which the woman was holding her arm.

"Are _you_ alright?" Julia asked Kim in a barely audible voice. "I'm sorry, I should have asked."

"Could be worse ma'am." Kim said with shrug of indifference. She gave the Home Secretary an appreciative smile however, which Julia couldn't find it in herself to return. Her eyes scanned the brutalized auditorium surrounding them.

"Was anyone killed?" Julia whispered, closing her eyes as she felt fresh tears forming.

Kim's smile fell and her brow furrowed in uncertainty. "It's unclear at this time ma'am, but rest assured, all injured parties will be taken straight to the closest trauma centers. They'll be given the very best care, as will you and Skipper... beg pardon... I mean PS Budd ma'am."

Julia's gaze dropped at the mention of David. "I can't lose him." She whispered. She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. Amidst all the turmoil, it was the only comfort she could find. She couldn't hear his heartbeat, but there was a lot of noise in the auditorium and David was still wearing his bulletproof vest. It was possible that the noise was simply muffled, and Julia prayed that was the case.

A few moments later she felt Kim's gentle hand on her back. "The first of the ambulances have arrived. Would it be alright if I helped you up?"

Julia sniffled, looking around to see two sets of paramedics with two separate stretchers. Apparently she wouldn't be walking out of here either, and she doubted she would be given the choice even if she asked.

She nodded, trying to lift herself up but this time her own weight was too much for her. Kim was quick to assist her, and soon she was seated between the two protection officers. "I do have one condition," she spoke softly, her pleading eyes searching Kim's.

Kim nodded, waiting patiently for Julia to continue.

Julia's red-rimmed and tear-filled eyes dropped to David again. "We go in the same ambulance."

"That might not be up to me ma'am–" Kim started to reply.

"No." Julia immediately met Kim's gaze again, this time the look in her eyes was stronger, more her usual self. "We go in the same ambulance, or you can be certain that I will refuse to go to the hospital." She said more firmly.

"Alright," Kim nodded softly in understanding. Julia could have sworn she saw the policewoman's lips trembling as she too, looked at her friend and colleague's unconscious form.

The paramedics were preparing to lift David now but Julia stopped them. "Wait." She carefully leaned forward, still holding on to Kim for support. Gently, she kissed David's forehead. "Thank you for protecting me." She whispered. "Now, you hang in there, because I'm not ready to say goodbye."

***

* * *

  _A/N: Thank you so much for reading, please review. Take care xx_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, thank you so much to those of you who reviewed the last chapter, I really appreciated all the comments and feedback! I hope you like the new chapter! I will probably be adding more to this story later on :)

* * *

 

**St. Mary's Hospital**

It had taken some time, but Julia had finally been able to convince her doctors that she was well enough to visit David's hospital room. That had been a few days ago, and since then she had been to see him a couple of times, but during each of those visits he had been asleep under a medically induced coma. This morning she had been told that he was being taken out of the coma later that day, and immediately she demanded to be taken to him for the time that it was scheduled to happen.

Her presence had not been permitted during his initial waking however, and unfortunately, by the time she was brought to his room he had already fallen back to sleep, this time naturally. Despite not knowing how long it would be before he would wake again, she decided to wait there with David and simply watch over him as he rested. Julia had been at his bedside for a little over an hour when he finally began to stir.

"David?" She asked hopefully, sitting forward a bit. She saw his eyes moving under closed lids. "David it's me. Can you hear me?" She asked in a soothing voice, watching him with bated breath.

Slowly his eyes began to blink open. He looked exhausted, but when his eyes found hers, his confused expression eased a bit. "Julia?" He asked in a quiet, hoarse voice.

Her eyes lit up in response. "David," her voice shook as she smiled at him. "Oh... I'm so relieved you're finally awake. I've missed you _so_ much." She said in a near whisper.

He didn't say anything further, but just looked at her for those first few moments, taking in the sight of her: injured, but safe. His eyes found and lingered on the small cuts on the right side of her face around her cheekbone. She brushed them lightly with her fingers, dropping her gaze from his for a few moments and breathing a light, faraway sigh.

"Julia. My god, you're alright," David said in alleviation, leaning back against his pillow and briefly closing his eyes tightly shut. "You're alright." He nodded softly to himself, as though he needed further confirmation.

With a tug of her heart, she realized he was trying to blink back tears. She reached for his hand using her good arm, and tried her best to maintain a gentle smile for him. The action proved difficult; it was just so hard seeing him in this state.

"Yes, I'm alright." She assured him in a whisper. "I survived because... well, because of you. Because of what you did for me." She shook her head emotionally, holding onto his hand a little tighter as her vision swam with unshed tears. "David..." She gazed into his eyes with a tortured look in her own. "I thought I was going to lose you. I was so worried you weren't going to make it. Your injuries were just... _so_ severe."

"You'll never lose me ma'am, I would never let that happen." He replied with a sleepy twinkle in his eye that only made her heartache stronger.

Julia breathed a soft laugh. "Ma'am," she repeated quietly, dropping her gaze. "I think we're well beyond all that now... Sergeant Budd." She spoke the name as an endearment, her sparkling eyes flicked up to meet his again. "How are you feeling?"

David was calmer now, he relaxed back into his pillow. "I've missed hearing your voice." He mumbled contentedly. "It feels like I've been asleep for a full year. Other than _that,_ no complaints." He grinned but she did not reciprocate, which had him suspecting that an army of pain meds must be masking the entirety of his injuries. His eyes took in the physical state of brunette: her arm was in a sling, she was in a wheelchair, there were bandages, cuts, bruises... but she was alive. He knew he must look the same or worse, but at the moment he couldn't care less about his own health.

"Is it broken?" He asked, his eyes indicating her arm.

"Hmm?" She asked, distracted. Her gaze dropped to follow his. "Oh..." she sighed. "Yes it is. My wrist... It doesn't hurt though. Or at least... It doesn't hurt at the moment. I'm on a whole pharmacy of medications." She explained.

David felt a tug of remorse. He had done that to her, he was sure of it. "And the wheelchair–?"

"Don't worry, I'm not a cripple," she assured him with a tired smile. "My doctors are just paranoid that I'll do myself further injury if they allow me to walk around on my own." She said this a little bitterly, barely refraining from rolling her eyes.

David nodded, relieved. "What else happened to you?" He asked, his eyes washing over her other visible wounds.

"It doesn't matter David..."

"Tell me. Please."

She shifted uneasily. She really didn't wish to discuss her medical state right now. It was all anyone seemed to want to talk to her about lately: the explosion, her injuries, her apparent feelings for her PPO...

"Fine." Julia sighed through the word. "My shoulder is shattered, but the doctor said the fragments are non-displaced. It should heal in approximately six weeks or so. I also had a concussion, I–" She began.

"Had?" David interrupted her in confusion. "Not anymore?"

She blinked, looking thrown off for a second. "No. I had one for about a day, no longer. You needn't worry, it was nothing terribly serious."

"A day? How long have we been here?" He asked in sudden alarm, lifting himself up into a seated position.

Her eyes wandered introspectively as she considered this. It had been harder to keep track of time whilst here. "About a week I should say."

"A week?!"

"Yes..." Her expression turned worried. "They've kept you in a medically induced coma." She explained to him guardedly. "You awoke for the first time this morning. I would have thought they'd told you all this already. Don't you recall speaking with your doctor?"

David shook his head, still looking stricken. Julia frowned, she would have to inform David's medical team of his possible cognitive troubles as soon as she had the chance.

Julia subconsciously tugged at her own medical bracelet. "You were – are – in far worse shape than I am obviously. When we were both brought in..." she shook her head sadly, "for _days_ they wouldn't let me leave my own hospital room to see you. It felt like an eternity..." She said a little more quietly. "But what I was _told_ was that you needed a ventilator to help you breathe... you had broken bones, a punctured lung, swelling in your brain... They've had to remove your spleen as well. " She frowned, recollecting in her mind everything she had been told in the days after the explosion. "David... that should have been me. I was the target, not you. None of this should ever have happened to you, but because of me it did. I'm so sorry." She finished in a small voice.

The pain David detected in her words tore him up inside. "None of this was your fault." He tried to reassure her. "And Julia... I _had_ to protect you."

She gave a small, mournful nod. "Because it's your job?" She softly filled in for him.

"No Julia," David responded, astonished at her response. "I mean, yes of course it's my job but that's not _why_. You _know_ that's not the only reason."

Julia's head tilted to the side in graceful curiosity, her eyebrows slightly raised in a silent question.

"Just the thought of losing you..." David had to look away from her. He rested his head back against the pillow as he felt fresh tears filling his eyes. "If I hadn't gotten to you in time..." He began, hardly able to say the words. "I'd have _never_ been able to live with myself. I think I–" His voice caught in his throat as he choked back a sob. 

Julia's eyes softened as she leaned a little closer to him. "You what, David?" She whispered in a cautious, almost hopeful tone.

He looked at her now, unable to speak for a few moments as he attempted to get his emotions under control. He wasn't even sure that she was aware of the constant effect she had on him. "I think... Julia... I think I've fallen in love with you." He finally forced himself to say. The look in her eyes upon hearing his words only confirmed his feelings even more. "No let me change that. I have. I _have_ fallen in love with you. Maybe I'm a fool to say it, but, Julia..."

"What about your family?" She whispered, sitting a little more forward in her wheelchair. "Your wife... your children."

David shook his head a little. "I've told you, I'm not with Vicky anymore." He said resolutely. "I'm sure we'll stay friends, especially because of the kids but... it's been over between us for a long while now. And my being with someone else, could _never_ change the way I feel about my kids. You're already a big part of my life, perhaps in the future you could be a part of theirs too."

"Do you really think so?" She asked delicately, her eyes searching his.

"Yes, I do."

Julia could feel the tears escaping her lashes as she breathed a gentle laugh of relief. "Well Sergeant Budd..." she smiled softly. "If you're a fool than so am I." She leaned forward, cupping his face with her palm and pressing a delicate kiss to his lips. "Because I love you too," she murmured.

***

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please review! Take care xx


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